Accept Ourselves as Perfect, Even When We Feel Imperfect

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“What we do not realize is that within each one of us is an unlimited source of both male and female energy. So many of our problems arise because we are either ignorant of, or we suppress, what we have within us.” (Lama Yeshe: An Introduction to Tantra, edited by Jonathan Landaw c. 2014, pp 18-19).

Wow!  If I had grown up surrounded with this belief, my struggles and confusion would have been less. You see, I was born into a female body and have always identified as being female. I’m not sure if I can even describe exactly what that means, but it feels true to me – yup I am all female!  That sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?

BUT I was born in the 1960’s and came of age during the Woman’s Liberation movement.  I reveled in doing things and dressing in ways that had been deemed boys only.  I vividly remember the year girls were first allowed to wear pants to school, and while I still enjoyed stylish “girly” dresses and ribbons in my hair, jewelry and begging my mom to wear heals, I was also drawn to jeans, flannel shirts and sneakers – my definite go-to-happy-place that continues to this day. I excelled in math and lost my first boyfriend because I beat him in bowling – and admonished by other girls for not being feminine enough. Why couldn’t I be a “true girl” and still prefer playing football in the street with the boys to giggling with the other 14-year-old girls as they swooned over pictures of the latest celebrity heartthrobs?

Through embracing Tantra beliefs we learn to accept ourselves as perfect, even when we feel imperfect, or others suggest that we aren’t “enough.” We learn that however the Divine Feminine (opening through the expression of feelings and emotion) and Divine Masculine (opening through discipline and being the strength to create the safe container in which the Divine Feminine can show up) emerge for each of us, it is perfect.  

It is through this acknowledgment, this acceptance of ourselves and of each other with our similarities and unique traits, that we find peace, that we find true joy.  

Please join us for the Intimate Puja Circle (find the next one here) where we will have opportunities to tap into and express our particular flavors of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. We will acknowledge and celebrate how each shows up in our lives, how each serves us, and where we hold back. In this gender-free puja we will look beyond the bodies we are housed in and seek to uncover our true nature.

​​​​​​​Lydia Carbone


Lydia Carbone, MSW started “dabbling in tantra” about 15 years ago. Having been exposed to a variety of teachers with varying perspectives, she is honored to have connected with Robyn Vogel and completed the Love U Leadership Training.  “As we deepen our appreciation for the perfection of each moment, we enter the cycle of opening our hearts to each other and ourselves and radiating that love to the universe. Leading Intimate Puja Circles is a wonderful vehicle for keeping that energy flowing.”


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