It’s been such a busy few weeks getting my new website up and running — all the details — time and energy and lots of writing. I haven’t written a blog entry in a while. And with that, I’ll say, “I don’t know what it is, but I love it.” I’ve been working with a mentor who may as well be a character in A Course in Miracles, if there were such a thing. She’s straight from heaven but living on earth. And I realize that that’ll sound quite strange to many of you. But suffice to say she gets “it”. She gets what we need, as humans, to be happy and blissful and how strongly the ego works to keep our spirits dampened. She gets that there are strong parts of ourselves that keep telling us stories about how this one did this or that, and how we’re not good enough or doing enough, or enough, period. That if we spend all of our energy and time listening to that ‘voice’, that our lives could be mostly miserable.
And as “evolved” as I think I am…..I often listen to her and don’t know what she’s saying…..which I think is a good thing! 🙂 It means I’m learning; I’m in student mode and the parts of me that think they know everything have taken a back seat….wayyyyy back! That makes me smile. And makes me a better teacher.
So suffice to say, I cannot write too much because I don’t know much! Laugh! I DO know that I’ve been filling myself up with energy that I didn’t know I had access to. I do know that I feel happy and blissful when I tune into the spaciousness all around me and not focus on the objects or people in the space. I DO know that when I listen to others talk about “being too fat” or “how she did this to me”, that I’m not hearing the Truth. I do know that ‘waking up’ is possible. I do know that’s why I am here – to wake up — and to share that with my children; and others. This is the true Tantric practice.
Michael Mirdad wrote a book called, You Are Not Going Crazy, You Are Just Waking Up, which is a wonderful cliff notes version of what happens when we do, in fact, WAKE UP….what it looks like and feels like. The ‘how’ I am learning from my mentor. And this Raw Journey I have been on since Jan 1st, 2012, has led me to her.
Because I called out for Inner Mothering — I was admitting that nurturing myself and receiving is not my forte. Anyone who knows me would likely disagree — you see me as “mother”, as “healer”, as “therapist” and all of those things, I am wonderful at….very skilled and very capable and quite conscious. But to deeply receive nurturance….first from Spirit, then from myself, then from another…..I did not learn this in the early years when most of you did. I am learning it now on a deeper level than I’ve learned and experienced before; and sharing it with my clients from a real-life perspective….and I’m so very grateful.
It’s never too late but for me, the time is now. Because I want to live the rest of my life FILLED UP with Spirit, with Love, True Love….the love that comes when you’re tuned into the fact that we are all One and the One = Love. I assume you want the same or you wouldn’t be here!
My assignment for this week is to move into “I don’t know” — so I can let go of my mind ‘thinking’ it knows what it ‘is’ and how to ‘fix it’….and just Be instead of Do. Let go of ‘therapist or counselor’ mind….Be with an open mind of not knowing and being with ‘that’. And then sending LOVE….and being with Love. Again, this is the true Tantric practice.
So, I don’t know what it is…but I love it! (smile!)
Still wrapping my mind and heart around that but I actually think that’s ‘not’ the point! (laughing…)
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