So yesterday I wrote you a long missive while sitting in the mall waiting for my daughter while she shopped and enjoyed the holiday energy with a friend of her’s. It was so much fun to be there and at the same time be with you. But after writing for over an hour, the newsletter disappeared. I closed up my computer and moved on to the next thing with only one thought in my mind, “I guess that information or sharing wasn’t meant to be received by anyone else but me!” Next!
But I realize after thinking about it later, that it was only a few years ago that I kept losing newsletters (with a different service I was using at the time) and my blood pressure would rise, and I’d get red in the face, and I’d literally hit the keyboard with my hands. I’d call the company or call my assistant and express my frustration, my anger, my self-righteousness that this “shouldn’t happen.” I remember how angry I felt each time.
These days tech glitches or shut downs still happen. That hasn’t changed. But my response to them – to life – has changed quite a bit.
These days I TRUST that everything that happens is ‘right’ — that it’s all in divine timing and that it’s all given to me to experience for a reason. Sometimes the reason is simply to let it go and move on (like yesterday) and sometimes there’s a deeper teaching or invitation to awareness that I can grasp if I’m paying attention. *If….I’m….paying….
Two nights ago I was working on my computer and the name “Paul” showed up 4 or 5 times. The first time I saw “Paul” – I was like “Oh! My dad’s name!” The 3rd time I was like, “Oh….my dad’s name…OH! Something is up about my dad.”
The 4th or 5th time I realized — my dad, who passed on in 1996, must be here and want to say something to me.
So that night I spent time journaling and receiving what he wanted to say.
Whether you believe in someone on the other side communicating with you or not, is not the point. The point is — we have to pay attention.
Coming back to love – and in particular my recent focus on SELF LOVE – is all about paying attention. It’s about listening deeply to myself on the inside AND noticing what’s happening outside me (and in actuality I don’t believe those things are separate but for now, let’s consider them separately.)
How can you love yourself if you aren’t paying attention? How can you know what you truly desire if you don’t sit quietly each morning and hone the skill of quieting the mind and listening deeply?
How can you separate out what YOU truly need, want, desire from what others around you need, want and desire?
Most people go through life not paying attention. I know I did! Until I stopped, learned to open my eyes/heart, slow way down and notice what I was experiencing inside and out.
It’s not an easy shift to make and with the holidays coming up, it becomes even harder. I write this today to support all of us, myself included, to bring as much awareness to this next week of Thanksgiving (and if you’re not in the US, to the week ahead!)
To spend time each morning in meditation; to practice yoga or go for a walk in the woods….anything you can find to have some down time, some space, PEACE amidst the chaos of a holiday.
Every day is a journey towards awakening. I think sometimes I skip over things like, “I’ll start that on Monday.” Nope. Every day is important. Every moment is a moment of opportunity – to slow down, take a breath, listen inside, notice outside – and LOVE YOURSELF.