Someone asked me yesterday what a healthy relationship is. It’s such a big question because for me, it begs the distinction between what our western society believes and what the Truth is. Heh heh….these things are different from each other.
I suppose I don’t need to tell you what our society tells us but I will say that it’s quite typical for 2 people to come together and create all kinds of boundaries and limitations. Not intentionally but as we strive to “connect” or not be alone, get along, make things “work” we mold and shape ourselves into the person we ‘think’ fits the bill. And we often leave the rest behind.
The rest of ourselves that is.
Sooner or later, the lines and limitations we put onto ourselves and into the relationship become too rigid, too tight, too controlled.
Someone needs to grow, expand their horizons, experience something new and different….and that wreaks havoc on the relationship. That’s when affairs happen, or attractions that become distracting, jobs in far away places, conflict, fighting and sometimes separation and divorce.
It happened to me in just that way.
In my 20s I didn’t know anything about relationship. Heck, I didn’t know much of anything about MYSELF! How could I have possibly chosen a “life partner” at 24??? I did choose a a “for now partner” and a life long co-parent that I’m extremely grateful for every day but I wasn’t capable of choosing a “life partner” or as a friend calls it “life match.”
No blame, no shame…just my journey. I’m grateful for it. It’s been one of the main launch pads for healing in my life.
Fast forward to what I know now and back to the question, “what is a healthy relationship?” Here’s my response.
A healthy relationship is one in which the individuals participating vow never to divorce themselves (and if they do, they are able to find their way back to alignment..) A healthy relationship is one in which each individual loves themselves as much as possible and commits to doing so actively ongoing.
A healthy relationship is one whereby the love for yourself uplifts your partner(s) so that the sky is the limit in terms of their growth and wellbeing.
A healthy relationship opens to and allows that growth no matter what….even if it’s hard.
A healthy relationship is easier when your communication skills and strategies work for you and also your partner(s.).
A healthy relationship is committed to knowing each others’ love languages and giving with generosity. A healthy relationship means you’ve healed the things that could get in your way ongoing….
A healthy relationship is honest, honoring and happy much of the time.
A healthy relationship knows when it’s time to transition.
Time to throw out, or as they say in Access Consciousness, “Destroy and Uncreate” old beliefs, fairy tales and all you consider “safe” and step in with courage and commitment to living your best life. If that’s with your partner (current or future), okay! If not….then make sure it’s between you and you and if you do want a partner, these qualities are ones that you embrace yourself.
How? Find out by joining me every month. Click here for more details on how to learn these skills, practice them and grow into the best version of yourself possible! Relationship ready or not??? Here you come!!!!