How Do You Handle Betrayal?

It’s been such an emotional time, huh?  I said from the beginning of the pandemic that we are all being brought to our knees in order to see more clearly (and kiss the ground/earth with gratitude.)

Many of you have reported that you’ve been experiencing more intense emotions – not only yours but others’ emotions, too.  Makes sense to me.  

Not only are we living in the wave of a pandemic but racial injustices finally coming even more into our awareness. Human behavior is under a microscope from wearing masks (or not) to how we treat each other (which reflects how we treat ourselves.) 

So why the question about ‘handling betrayal’ today?  Well, for one thing it’s on my mind. When I teach the tools and philosophy of Come Back To Love, I always invite you to offer love to the places where it feels easy first.  And then, to attempt the ‘hard work’ of sending love/feeling love to the places — AND PEOPLE — where it feels most challenging.

“Send love to someone you believe doesn’t deserve to be loved…”

My clients and workshop participants have heard me say that often.

It seems hard for some; unnecessary to others, impossible to most! And yet this practice is what, in my humble opinion, changes the world. Our micro/local world and our global world.  

So how do you handle it when you feel like you’ve been betrayed? Or when you’ve betrayed yourself by stepping outside of someone else’s boundaries? Out of your own integrity? 


Starting with yourself.  

FORGIVENESS starts with ourselves.  

Let’s say a partner betrayed you by having an affair; or your business partner cheated you out of money that was yours; or someone stole something from you.  You’re angry, sad, devastated, confused. How can you possibly forgive?  It’s a tall order and it takes time….so what I’m saying is to start with YOU.  It’s all you can do anyway! 

Begin immediately to see where you are judging that person (which of course you would be) and forgive yourself.  Hands on your heart, deep breath into your humanness and allow love to flow through your hands.  

This is the very first and the most VITAL step to take in order to come back to love.

And let me just say to be clear when I say, ‘come back to love’ — I mean that you’ll feel PEACEFUL, CONTENT, HAPPY, RELAXED, ALIGNED, AUTHENTIC, ON PURPOSE in your life, LOVED.    

Here we go!  There’s a pandemic going on — 2020 has brought us more clear vision than ever before in my lifetime and it keeps on going. And it’s going to keep on going until WE GET IT.  

So why not ride the wave and continue to do the HEALING work you need, we all need and the planet needs?  It is time to stay conscious, not to let go, go out of your house and pretend nothing is happening. 

My suggestion is this:   

  • Every morning before you get out of bed, even before you open your eyes, feel what you are grateful for today. 
  • Now bring your hands to your heart and allow someone you’ve been judging (angry with, sad about, outright judgmental towards) into your awareness.  
  • Forgive yourself.  Invite permission to be human (yes, as humans with egos, we judge.)  
  • Send love through your hands into your heart.  Stay with it until you can feel it. 

Do this every day for 2 weeks and let me know how you feel. Hey, you can let me know how you feel after 2 days if you’d like! 

Come Back To Love® is as much a revolution as it is a spiritual practice.  That’s what I love about it!